![Nothing [G]old Can Stay](http://static.flickr.com/2203/2184426435_738e112daa_t.jpg "Nothing [G]old Can Stay")
From Jay Leno:
Former President Ronald Reagan’s son, Ron Reagan Jr., has attacked President Bush saying he made a terrible mistake in Iraq.
President Bush is furious – he said, "What does the son of a former president know about Iraq?”
From Daily Humor at Refdesk:
"At the scale-manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. Some visitors abstained, however, not wishing to advertise their weight.There's my nightmare in a joke; publicly announcing my weight. Eww-owwwwww!
A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight.
She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, mechanical voice from within the machine announced: "One hundred and sixty-three."
From CNN's Offbeat News, comes this interesting article:
PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) -- A large alcoholic drinks manufacturer here has launched a marijuana flavored liquor, the company said Friday.Wow!!
The drink does not contain any tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) -- the active substance in marijuana -- but does have an alcohol level of 16 percent, Jiri Janak, the head of liquor production at Drinks Union, told The Associated Press.
"We produce it from hemp, but there's no THC in it," Janak said, adding he has received no complaints from anti-drug activists.
He said the flavored vodka is sold mostly in large supermarket chains and in some restaurants.
A 0.5-liter (1-pint) bottle sells for about 85 koruna ($3.20).
From CNN's Offbeat News:
STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) -- It's healthy and tasty, for those with expensive tastes."I'll have a ham-and-moose-cheese on rye, please."
Farmers in northern Sweden are milking moose and making cheese, which they sell for a lot of dough -- nearly $500 a pound. The buyers include upscale hotels and restaurants in Sweden.
Christer Johansson and his wife, Ulla, started their 59-acre dairy farm "Moose House" seven years ago in Bjursholm, 404 miles north of the capital, Stockholm. They claim it is the only moose dairy farm in Europe.
The Johanssons currently have 14 moose in the fields but only three -- "Gullan," "Haelga" and "Juna" -- can be milked.
The three cows, who stay outdoors all year, were abandoned calves found in the woods around Bjursholm and taken in by the Johansson family.
"Fortunately they know and love us, because they weigh about 500 kilograms (1,100 pounds). They see us almost as their own calves," Christer Johansson said.
The Johanssons were inspired by similar facilities in eastern Russia, although those produce only milk, he said.
The moose only produce milk between May and September, the time from when they calve to when they are in heat again, Christer Johansson said. It takes up to two hours to milk a moose and they each produce up to a gallon of milk a day.
"That's one of the reasons why the cheese is so expensive," he said.
The milk, which contains 12 percent fat and as much protein, is refrigerated and curdling is done three times per year, crating about 660 pounds of cheese a year. It is made in three varieties and can be sampled at the farm's restaurant.
"We hope later on to be able also to export more of the cheese, especially the somewhat sour feta-type, which is laid down in oil and easy to transport," he said.
The Johansson farm attracts about 25,000 visitors a year.
Why was it so easy to get skinny in the mid-70's? Because when you were on Weight Watchers, they offered you ideas like "Mackerelly" and "Rosy Perfection Salad" and "Caucasian Shashlik."
Cruise through the cards, if you dare. Just don't do it before lunch. Oh, and be sure to read the author's commentary on each card. It's quite hilarious.
The class was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible for a college class and the instructions were that it had to discuss Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
The only one who received an A+ wrote the following:
Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it?
Again, from In Passing:
"It's ugly. Really ugly."But, wait . . . IKEA has such cool stuff! What could be so ugly it needs an "F?"
"Is there an 'F' in how ugly it is?"
--A girl and a guy at IKEA.
Also from Ananova, in a segment called "Strange Crimes:"
An Iowa man has been arrested for making an assault with a chalupa, or deep-fried taco.I'm not surprised, are you? He was from Iowa, after all!
The Des Moines Register says 24-year-old Christopher Lame threw the pancake at a Taco Bell worker Nancy Harrison after she refused to deal with his complaint about not being served the right food.
Harrison had reportedly refused to take the complaint seriously when Lame did not produce a receipt, and pointed out that the restaurant was closing.
She then turned away from him, but not before she was hit in the face by the chalupa.
Lame ran out of the restaurant, but Harrison followed him and took down his number plate.
"I've never had anything quite like that before," police detective Darren Cornwell told the newspaper.
From a segment of Ananova called "Rocky Relationships:"
A Warwickshire woman married a man just a month after he stabbed her for having pre-wedding jitters.Personally, I think she is crazy.
Katrina Grant, 36, needed 12 stitches and suffered a collapsed lung after being stabbed by her 22-year-old fiancee Luke in a drunken attack.
He was later given a suspended sentence, but while he was on bail the couple from Nuneaton got married.
She told the News of the World: "People think I'm crazy. They don't understand how I could marry Luke after what he did, but no one knows him like I do.
"I love him. He's worth a second chance. He'll never hurt me again."
Luke, who is now seeing a psychiatrist to control his jealous rages, said: "What I did was terrible."
From Ananova:
A passenger at Cologne airport stunned staff who asked him to remove his belt by taking off his trousers instead.
The 35-year-old was checking in for a flight to Munich when the security signal went off as he was searched.
Staff told him to remove his wide belt, which was covered in metal rivets.
At first the man refused but then airport police told him it was the only way they would allow him to fly.
He finally gave in but instead of taking off his belt, he stripped out of his trousers and put them through the x-ray machine.
He then walked through the security gate in only his underwear before getting back his trousers on the other side.
Airport security spokesman Guenter Ahr told the Express news the rules that led to the strip were necessary.
"You never know whether something is being hidden inside a belt and the rivets are only there to distract staff," he said.
From CNN's Offbeat News:
Dave Brixey, wearing a pink tutu and tiara, seems a bit embarrassed as he holds up a sign at an intersection in Washington Township, near Dayton, Ohio, on June 11. Brixey lost a bet to his Springboro neighbor, Wil Bell, to see who could lose 20 pounds the fastest.
I think he looks great in pink; don't you? 
This is Ali.
Ali poses in her sunglasses at the Ben Geren tennis courts as she watches her owner, Gail Faubus, teach tennis on June 16 in Fort Smith, Arkansas.
From In Passing, a funny website . . . this woman named Eve publishes funny things that she overhears people say . . . such as this:
"These tickets are 6 months old."Yeah, that's the ticket! (groan)
"But we didn't use them then. It's the same flight number, today."
"And you want to use these tickets today for a flight that you missed in November?"
"Oh, we didn't miss it. We decided not to go. We'll need the same seats for today, my knee is bad."
--An airline check-in agent, and a passenger, seemingly talking to each other, but not really hearing anything.
Offbeat News from CNN:
El Paso, Texas, with average summer temperatures above 93 degrees Fahrenheit and relative humidity over 70 percent, is the sweatiest city in the United States, a study released on Tuesday found.No swimming in that Olympic-size pool for me!
Research scientist Tim Long calculated heat indexes and relative humidity levels to come up with his top 100 sweatiest cities in America list.
By Long's calculations, in just four hours, El Paso's residents produce enough sweat to fill an Olympic swimming pool, with individuals shedding more than 36 fluid ounces of perspiration an hour.
"The driving force is heat, but humidity is a key factor," said Long. "It can feel like 118 in El Paso but it's only 94."
from David Letterman:
"President Bush has promised Iraq, listen to this, I think this is important, he's going to establish elections there in Iraq, he's going to rebuild the infrastructure, he's going to create jobs. He said, if it works there, he'll try it here."and from Jay Leno:
"President Bush's approval rating is now at an all time low. And in fact, it is now lower than Dick Cheney's pulse rate. That's how bad. That's not a good sign, not a good sign."It's so funny . . . and it's so true!
This quote is from the press conference held in mid-March:
"His phrasing is weird, it's offbeat. He's not pausing at the commas. Hear that? Wait a minute... Dude, he's pausing at the big words."From In Passing.
--A girl watching Bush's press conference on the TV in the lobby of my hotel.
No pun intended? "I always tell people on my tours to keep an ear out for the corny jokes," said Magnuson, who has become a bit of a Corn Palace history buff.
From CNN's Travel News:
The Corn Palace, first established in 1892, towers over Main Avenue in Mitchell [South Dakota], its yellow and green onion-shaped domes and orange minarets shining in the sun. Corn cobs, grain and grasses form murals that cover its walls. Some of the inside walls also are covered with murals made of corn and grasses.IF YOU GO ...
The Corn Palace attracts about 500,000 visitors a year.
"They're just always amazed at something so recognizable that's made out of corn," said Troy Magnuson, who has worked with the local chamber of commerce for 19 years.
The theme for the corn artwork changes each year.
A local artist designed a Lewis and Clark theme for the exterior walls for 2004. Silhouettes of Meriwether Lewis, William Clark and Sakajawea were created with different natural colors of corn.
"I've been here a lot and this is one of the best I've seen," said Carla Homan, a teacher from Kansas City, Missouri, who grew up in South Dakota. She had stopped in Mitchell on a concert tour with about 50 music students from the high school where she works.
"Everyone was like, 'You have to see the Corn Palace,"' said Karen Wollberg, a student on the trip.
...
Mitchell is located along Interstate 90 in South Dakota, about 75 miles west of Sioux Falls and 310 miles east of Mount Rushmore. To get to the Corn Palace, take exit 332 or exit 330 north and follow the signs. The Corn Palace is at 604 N. Main.
From CNN's Offbeat News:
PEACHTREE CITY, Georgia (AP) -- A blind man was charged with reckless conduct after he drove a golf cart through the city with help from an inebriated friend, police said.How about lettin' the dog drive and make the man follow along behind the cart?
Samuel McClain, 35, drove two miles through winding streets -- also accompanied by his guide dog -- before running into a parked car, police said.
No one was hurt, but McClain and Michael Johnston, 47, were charged with reckless conduct "due to the blatant disregard for public safety," according to police reports.
The report said McClain drove the cart Saturday while Johnston gave directions after having six or seven beers.
Peachtree City, about 25 miles south of Atlanta, has about 80 miles of paved cart paths and 9,000 registered carts that residents use for daily errands.
From a recent church bulletin:
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.Way to affirm the eating-challenged!
From the Associated Press:
HELENA, Mont. - Bald is a hair color in Montana. Montana's Web site lists "bald" as an option when applying online for a fishing license.Only in America.
"It's always been there, but before when you applied for a license at a sporting goods store, the person filling out the license just checked the appropriate box," said Rich Olsen, general manager of the state's site, Discovering Montana.
You also can choose to declare your shiny pate on your driver's license.
"It's a newer option, along with other hair colors, such as sandy," said Patrick McJannet, manager of field operations for the state Motor Vehicle Division.
The Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks doesn't keep track of how many people admit to being folliclely challenged, said Neal Whitney, one of the agency's computer specialists.
