drink, drank, drunk

For a new source of silliness, we have Modern Drunkenness Magazine. Here are some nuggets of wisdom from their aptly titled, "Winos of Wisdom:"

“Oh, I’m not a drunk. I’m a drank. As in, I just drank all my beer. But I’m willing to be a drunk if you buy me a drink.”
Joan B., playing with words and men’s emotions outside the Carioca Cafe.

“I want all the booze in the world in this glass right now. All of it. Mix it up. I’ll drink every damn drop. Of course, I’m going to need a bigger glass.”
An ambitious yet pragmatic Tom H. wanting it all at the Lion’s Lair Lounge.

“Give me another glass of wine, and pour it strong this time.”
Annie G., 24, attempting to squeeze booze from a turnip at the Streets of London Pub.

“You’re not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.”
Scott Q. while desperately clawing at his living room carpet.

“Give me well scotch and top shelf water.”
Mary K. worrying about the wagon instead of the mule at Southpark Tavern.

“Go ahead and unload on me, man. I’m pretty sure I’m blacked out right now and won’t remember nothing.”
An extremely loaded, yet intensely self-aware patron at the High Street Speakeasy.

“You’re hard to remember, but easy to forget.”
Trish C., 24, dishing out a sweet burn at the Lion’s Lair.

"I want four stupid fruity shots. Stupid and fruity as you can make ‘em. Your choice. And a Jack Daniels neat.”
Name unknown, attempting to rescue his forsaken masculinity four shots too late at the Bar Bar.

“Grab hold me, boys! I’m about to rear up on my hind legs and take a bite outta the fuckin’ moon!”
Raymond L., 52, losing his composure but not his dreams at the Landmark Tavern.